Autism

The Blinking Cursor

At the start of my lunch break, I had an idea for a quick blog post I wanted to write about so I grabbed my food, sat down at the computer, opened up wordpress, and then I sat for 10 minutes staring at (possibly even past) the blinking cursor on my screen.

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My mind, my absolutely chaotic mind, went blank.

It drowned out the view before me of Atlanta and all the cars in the distance on the highway.  It blocked out the horns, the sirens, the clear blue sky, the gentle hum of the air conditioner and even the brightness of the sun.

11825719_868315486586702_5272897226493447810_nStaring at the cursor emptied my mind of all thought.  Where I had once been compartmentalizing input to avoid sensory overload… those banks were empty.  No longer was I reminiscing about the sound of the rain this morning at 4ish am.  Gone were the thoughts of what I wish I had packed for lunch.  The graphics I was building for work, the scripts I need to write, the bills and the budgets for my personal banking/balance, the gorgeous flowers that Chandler got me and how I was going to preserve them.

Gone was the feel of the cold air against my skin, the hum of the AC, the faint stirring sounds of my computer working, the bright fluorescent lights in my eyes, the sound of footprints, keyboard clicks, coughing, quiet chatter, a phone ringing in the distance, microwave buttons being pressed … and more.

Gone.

All I was, was blank. Reset. By a blinking cursor.

Glorious.

And then I came up. But I don’t remember what I was going to write about.

Jess, Out.

 

 

3 thoughts on “The Blinking Cursor

  1. Being a sensory-sensitive individual, I was hanging on every word you wrote here. Frankly, I’m glad you forgot what you were going to write about. This post was so much more exciting. And then what? And then what? That’s where you took me. Cool beans!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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